Dementia: to deal effective with the issue
This theme should be taken out from the taboo image it still has, particularly in Asian countries.
Hardly any family is free from the reality of having a member become demented in their old age. In most cases the family will choose to take care of them themselves, till they reach the point of physical and psychological exhaustion. In this field relatives perform remarkable duties in the care-taking. However it is equally important that the families have the right support to cope with the difficulties.
To know more: and react correctly
If you know how the brain organs illness manifests itself on a relative, then you can anticipate what is to be expected as time goes by.
Initially we notice the increasing signs of forgetfulness, the short term memory declines. At a later stage the person will lose the sense of orientation and the ability to read, define objects and recognize friends.
Without help he cannot manage the daily affairs anymore. Familiar things would suddenly become strange. This causes fear and anxiety to the disorientated person, which in turn makes him suspicious and aggressive or withdrawn. We must recognize that all these behaviour changes are symptoms of the disease and not an attempt to hurt or provoke the people around them, even if at times it presents itself in such a picture.
The correct approach: active nursing
Even if it takes a long time and patience: let the affected person do the daily chores such as personal hygiene for himself even if it is time consuming, let them continue to assume responsibility for their own care-taking. This will stimulate a sense of perceiving respect and dignity. Give as much help as is needed and as little as is necessary.
Accept professional help
It is very difficult for any relative to cope with the physical and psychological aspect of the situation created by the disease.
The risk to wear oneself out, because the fact that one has to take care of the person with dementia around the clock, is very real. You may be the ‘personal expert of the afflicted person’ but do not attempt to deal with it all alone. "Only who takes care of oneself can take care of others" (don’t let your battery run flat). Use the support which is offered by mobile nursing services available in your area.
You are not alone
Don’t become irritated because the person is asking the same question five times already, nor should you assume self reproach. This is a classical behaviour which almost all care-takers of dementia afflicted persons have to cope with. It is important for the care giving-relative, to take sufficient time off, to take care of his own needs
and wishes. This should be done on a regular basis and to ensure its implementation. One should consider having an external care-giver employed for these ‘off’ times.
Understand language deficiencies
As a result of his dementia the affected person has increasing problems to understand other people as well as make himself understood by others. He is asking the same questions repeatedly and tells the same stories or insists, undeterred, the wrong thing. Do never attempt to correct it as it will unwittingly lead to unproductive conflicts and stress. Just overlook it and emphasis on the positive aspects. When he can no more express himself with words, he will likely do it with aggression or apparently inappropriate laughing or shows signs of depression, restlessness or crying, these can be better understood considering his condition.
Empathetic communication
Since the dementia afflicted person can no longer adapt himself, it is better that you adjust to his condition. This includes also distancing yourself from the role he played for you or you played for him. This can be very difficult; however some approaches will make it easier. Since you know his past, his abilities and skills, you can always refer to them and get him engaged in this way in a conversation. The more empathetic you can approach him the easier it will be for both and the atmosphere will be more relaxed the between you and the demented person. This makes many things much easier.
Also adjust one’s own speaking
There is no general rule as to how to communicate with a demented person. However some points should be considered. Do not adapt a ‘baby language’. Use short and simple sentences; speak slowly, lovingly and in a clear voice.
Communicating without spoken words
Show yourself to the afflicted person; do not speak to him from afar. Maintain eye contact and address him with his name. This way you get his attention. Interfering noise should be switched off, however with his consent. Instead of words, pantomime and gesture can also be used. Show your affection in body contact such hugging and kissing.
Support remaining skills
A housewife would of course like to be busy in the kitchen. A gardener in the garden...., Give the person the feeling that he is still needed and foster his still functioning skills as long as is possible. Accept the imperfection
and don’t be too precise. As the Germans put it, "let five be a regular number".Recollect the past: photo album
Psychologists use the biography as a form of therapy for demented persons. Listen to the life story and show interest in his past supports the self esteem. It is helpful to have a photo album for the afflicted person. This is a supportive approach to discover which episodes of his past that still have high relevance.
Dementia should not be a taboo theme
Support, may it be from medical or social side is only possible if we deal openly with the dementia of an afflicted person. Take the courage to share with your relatives and friends of the dementia of your loved one. Neither you nor the afflicted person is responsible for this condition. Although he might slowly withdraw from mixing with others, tactfully persuade to have him keep up some contact and not to isolate himself. Family parties and social events are good opportunities for this.
The early provisional steps
It would be extremely helpful if the afflicted person has made legal arrangements for himself. In case of the lack of written documentation, even the next of kin may not have the legal right to represent the person. Early arrangements of who and how in any eventuality should be documented. This includes the aspect of liability of the affected person.
Beware of damages which may be hidden in the liability claim.
Monetary provision
Enquire from the pension office as to how far monetary support is given in the management of the sick persons. Some supply free gadgets and equipments or pay totally or partially needed adjustments to the living environment: such as ramps for wheelchairs, holding rails supports etc. You may also be entitled for financial support for relieve care, or medical nursing. Often families are not aware of the help they are entitled to by various organizations and social institutions.
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